CHAPTER 1

 5:02A.M. 4th DECEMBER 1976. DRAFT 1.12.04

I was born in the city of Texas but never liked my town. My father used to sell beef, so I used to help him in the business usually and from there I got training on cutting beef nicely. Father would punish me for my every mistake, 5 strokes of the cane on my ass, and 10 doses of insulting me every time. My father used to beat my mother, and my mother used to beat me, and I used to beat my sister, but she had no one to beat, so my sister used to do dishes in her free time. One day she broke a fragile plate, for which dad slapped her three times the same night, but our mom stepped into the chaos to save her but got the same treatment from my father. I wasn't sure, how my mom was living her life for past so many years. When I was 14, dad brought a new lady in the house whom he had married and kicked my mom including me and my sister out of the house. 

My mother took us to our Aunt's house and we started living there. Mom used to look lifeless and always lost in her own thoughts. Aunt's husband was a bit cold man, he didn't like us in his house and always used to ask Aunty, for how long are we planning to stay, I would listen to that argument peeping through the door. I decided from the same day, to not be like those men who do this to women. When I was 17, my sister fled away from the house with a boy she loved far...far away. Mom cried that entire day and even I couldn't control my rage. We searched everywhere around the city, but they just disappeared. When I came back to the house mom was lying on the floor. I was foolish enough to try to wake her up when I saw my Aunt's crying face. My mom was dead, she ate poison and died. I was foolish enough trying to wake her up. My Aunt's husband, kicked me out of the house the next day. 

Alone, all alone. I had been alone for the rest of my life. I would walk around the city, shouting at my fate and punching on the walls, with no friends, no family, all alone. One evening I was sitting against a wall, crying with my tears falling on my cheek when a kind man showed up. This was Mr. Sally, the man whom I can never forget, my God, the man who made me believe in God. Mr. Sally picked me up and held my hand leading me to his house. His wife and kids were jolly as fuck. A good man can turn the house into heaven, that was the day learned this. Surprisingly Mr. Sally sold beef, so I joined him in his work and started my first job very honestly. I would work all day and he would pay me well. Mr. Sally loved me like my father never did. Soon I joined a school of journalism and started studying hard. Even dead I would make my mother proud. That was the first step. I completed my education in 4 years with an internship, after which I decided to move to New York and work full time. Mr. Sally gave me a last hug with him in Texas, before I left. I will always be indebted to Mr. Sally.

5:32 A.M. 4th DECEMBER 1976. DRAFT 2.12.04

I was always scared after having arrived in New York. I worked at a newspaper company called The Rising Star. The company also gave me an apartment to stay in and work on my material. I used to take interviews, and write articles. My interest in Politics was not too old. In this election, we have Ford running for President, honestly, I don't trust that man. And if he wins, the city which is filled with assholes would turn into a city with bigger assholes. 

People scare the shit out of me. You can't trust anyone, can you? You don't know when someone arrives at your door, knocks up and stabs you repeatedly robbing you, and leaving. Where is the devil? He is here on earth, within ourselves. That's the only reason I have seven locks and one chain at my door. But honestly, there is one more reason. Since I was a kid, I was scared that a man in torn flesh with no face would enter my house moving his arms with crackling bones and might attack me. One day, a man like that just entered my apartment, and I fainted seeing him. Turns out, he was just a postman. Since that day, I have had all those locks. Sometimes I see that man at places, in trains, and sometimes, outside my window at night. He scares the shit out of me all the time. 

Sometimes I wake up too early, for example at 3:00 A.M., and then I get this urge to go for a walk around the city, with empty roads. But that fear, that feeling that someone is always walking past me, those sounds of footsteps getting louder each second, and when you look back, there is no one. So to help with that, I dress up like a clown with a knife to carry in order to protect myself from stupid people. Stupid people, try to approach me in my calmest moments. They make fun of me, but the moment I start walking towards them and smiling, it brings chills in their spines, with which they run. Pussies, they make me laugh all the time. You were the one trying to approach me, why scared now? people are silly.

5:58 A.M. 4th DECEMBER 1976. DRAFT 3.12.04

Someone knocked on my door, a few days ago. I was in the kitchen and got alarmed just by the sound of it. This person gradually knocked on my door harder and harder, but I tried to ignore it. A stick was there near my door when I grabbed it decided to open the door. Through the peephole, I saw the one knocking at my door. It was Benny, my neighbor all this time. I still monitored him at the door, making sure he is alone and not with any other scumbag. I finally opened the door. 

"Kevin! how are you my man?" said Benny, "What happened?" I asked, I just wanted him to come to the point. Minimum interaction is the best interaction with the people you fear. "I was leaving the town for a month, so I wanted you to keep the keys," he said something like that and handed me over the keys. "Well, I might not be back for a longer time, so you can use my stuff if you want to buddy," said Benny and smiled at me. I didn't smile back, for I knew, that smiling back would build trust which can brake later before he stabs me and takes my money. I just closed my door and locked it up again. 

What would Mr. Sally be doing today? Where are people like Mr. Sally, people, you can really trust? I just wish we could walk around freely these days, but I fear even buying some onions from the market.